I received this from my Mom. In case it's hard to read is says.... We are so proud of the noticeable changes in you. We know it's been tough but we are behind you! You will never know how happy we are that you are making an extra effort in your relationship with your brother. You are a great Uncle "Mimmy". xo...
I still get all teary eyed when I read the 'we are so proud...' part. For 31 years, I spent every ounce of my being trying to do something to hear those words. Who woulda thunk it would be when I stopped doing something that I would hear those words.
My parents have always said they were proud of me, no matter what. I have an amazing family that has been through some crap and came out smelling like roses. We are a small family and there is an unconditional understanding and love that we share. My parents house is the one place I can truly say I am not judged and I do not judge. I'm trying to work that into my daily living...
Until recently, I have been unable to hear the words my parents said so often. I think it's because I didn't believe it myself. When I finally started to feel proud of myself - I could then hear the words being spoken.
Noticeable changes!! Whoo hoo. I've been feeling some pretty significant changes happening - it's heart warming to know that I'm acting in a way that demonstrates that changes I feel. The true test of whether or not I'm becoming the person I want to be is in the actions I choose to take and how they affect others. I can finally be the Uncle Mimmy I should have been the last few years.
Last but not least. Today I'm grateful that I can ask for someones number, that I can say hello and introduce myself to someone I don't know, ask them how they are doing and honestly care in their answer. I'm also grateful for heightened awareness that gives me the opportunity to review my day and where I've been judgemental. - And the opportunity to make noticeable changes tomorrow. But most of all I'm grateful that I'm able to finally hear and listen to family, friends and those who are still suffering.
1 comments:
Hey chad here,
I know exactly the oddness that you are writing about. Just the other meeting, a man came up to me and said I helped him stay sober that day and so on. It is a miracle, but rarely do I ever find them. Maybe its the miracles in us in helping each other? I know I can never see the changes myself but always another! Thanks for the awesome post.
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