I'm such a procrastinator. 'nough said.

Passwords
So I've spent the week updating my passwords to all the different sites I access. Recently I noticed that the password I use for everything had an old favorite beverage as the base for the password. Let's say it was wine12345. I was trying to log into a site that I hadn't accessed in a long time and forgot my password.. so I had to request it to be reset and as I was typing the 'wine12345' I thought how ridiculous it was that I was still using that as my password. So started the daunting task of updating all my passwords. It was a good reminder of how obsessed I was with alcohol. I'm grateful that I no longer obsess over alcohol.

Bouncy Bouncy
I bounced a check. A few of them actually... Those damn fees coming back to haunt me. I haven't bounced a check since shortly after I stopped drinking. At least this time - it was unintentional. I completely forgot about an automatic payment that just happened to show up this week. Damn! During my last year as a drinker I had nearly $5,500 in over draft fees. Yes - FEES. Doesn't include the fees owed to the establishments I wrote the checks to, but simply the fees my bank charged me. That's about 150 bounced checks - an average of 1 bad check every 2.4 days. I've paid all the fees to the bank (actually - I had direct deposit so they just took back the money I owed them) but still owe money to some of the establishments... I'm slowly making progress on my debt. So, I'll take this recent bad check fiasco as another reminder of days gone by.... Today - I can at least balance my checkbook, even if I do forget to keep track of my automatic withdrawals.

Friendship and fellowship
I'm constantly amazed at how different my life and friendships are today. I'm grateful that I can be present (most days) for the fun and fellowship that accompany the program. Even days when I'm not feeling it - I can act like it long enough to coerce myself into feeling it. I'm thrilled to learn of my friend D's two year anniversary yesterday!! I'm grateful for those who reach out and ask for help when they need it - and for those who let me momentarily complain and bitch and then tell me to get over it.

Love is in the air
Love is SO in the air. I had an amazing weekend with Sexy Man - a conversation about being exclusive - and the opportunity to meet and 'hang out' with his parents. I've dated tons of people and have been in 2.5 'serious' relationships. I can instantly tell whether or not someone I'm dating is someone I could see in my future.. as in dating/boyfriends/husband type of thing. Sexy Man is definitely in that category. It's amazing to be able to feel these feelings while sober. The 2.5 relationships I mentioned were fueled (or ruined) by addiction. Looking back, I wouldn't have changed a thing as I wouldn't have learned the lessons needed to thoroughly enjoy where I am at today. So while I'm hopeful for the future - I'm focused on today. Another example of how this program has helped me rise from the dead and has provided the tools I need to be active, present and contributing in all aspects of my life. (yes, even bounced checks)