Mood, Motivation and Miracles

Mood

During last nights meetin' we talked about our moods and how frequently they change. A constant roller coaster of highs and lows. Back in my drinking days I was diagnosed with hypomania. Mostly bipolar with more severe periods of depression and less severe periods of mania. Amazingly, within weeks of putting the plug in the jug, most of my depression lifted. Even more amazingly, it hasn't returned for over 332 days. My alcoholism confused me and my Doctors (because I was lying to myself and them) enough to be misdiagnosed.



Today I find that my roller coaster ride has ended. I don't typically experience the severe mood swings that governed my life for so long. When I find myself starting to experience a drop in my mood level - I can take a moment to pause, reflect and then take action to rectify what's going on. 9 times out of 10 my mood is suffering because of some action I have not taken. Easy enough to take some action that leads to more happier times!

Motivation

Lately I've been trying to take an honest look at my motivation for certain actions. There is a lady at work who I will call Sorority Sister Superstar (SSS). Well, SSS spends at least half of her day, everyday (seriously) working on her Sorority Sister Business. I know way to much about this sorority, it's leadership, it's dues, events and drama! There are a few people in the office who like to talk and make fun of SSS. Her conversations are LOUD and typically we can hear the person on the other line... Cell phones suck for trying to have private conversations...

So I've been meaning to give feedback, which I know will not be taken constructively regardless of how I deliver it. I know SSS will bring up my feedback to my boss. My dilemma is in regard to my motivation for providing the feedback. Is it because I want SSS to shut-up and get some work done or because I feel superior and wouldn't choose to spend half a day on the phone taking care of other business. (Internet doesn't count...) :) So - before doing anything, I'll pray and ask for God's direction.

Miracles
I'm so grateful that I can see the miracle in being alive. I'm convinced that every day sober is a miracle. I'm grateful that a very good friend has recently returned to the rooms. We had a small falling out about 4 months ago - and haven't talked since. He returned to the rooms after using recently. It's a reminder that no matter how grateful I am to be sober today that I need to take the actions to ensure my miracle happens... Welcome back cookie - I love you - and am glad your back.

And last but not least. I have a DATE tonight!! I'm super excited. It's with the sexy man from camping! He called me the other day and asked if I wanted to go on a date. I think I shrieked and then said yes. So, tonight I'm going to grill steaks, make buttermilk/garlic(I know) mashed potatoes, asparagus and salad. He's the dessert..er..I mean.. he can bring dessert. It's not one of those kind of 'dates'. It's a date.. I'm excited to get to know him better.